Wed: I dont like talking on the phone

I’m not a huge fan of communication in general, probably cause it’s so complicated. I say something and depending on what I say, what tone I use, the accent, what my hands are doing, where my eyes are, where the sun is in the sky, what I say could mean something different. It’s so complicated, and that’s only a plain old face to face conversation. E-mail, text message, telephone, cell phone, wigwagging, skype, instant message all bring a new set of rules to the table. It’s all too much. If I had to pick one I could do without though it would definitely be the phone.

The rhythm of talking on the phone absolutely escapes me. I’m always talking over the
other person, interrupting them, or leaving too much empty space. There’s no cues to go with the words coming out of your mouth. I can’t tell when you’re finished. I think that’s why truckers always say “over” after they finish talking. There needs to be a phone equivalent of “over”, so I know when it’s ok to answer your question. It’s also probably because I’m impatient and have an idea of what your saying and just want to get onto replying, in a face to face I could just give you a look that says “Ohhh yea ok” and move on, on the phone I have to be rude and cut you off or just hang out and wait till the other person is absolutely positive I know what they’re saying.

If you’ve ever talked to me on the phone, there’s a good chance you wondered why as I was upset, or just waking up. I’m not totally sure why but I can’t ever use the correct tone on the phone. I’m usually pretty happy but if you talked to me on the phone you’d think maybe you killed my dog inadvertently by calling me. I try to sound happy or whatever and before I say something I give it a quick go in my head to hear how it sounds, but then I spit it out on the phone and….that’s not how I remember it going in my head.

Aside from the weird tone, talking on the phone doesn’t let you see how someone’s reacting to what your saying. I need that reaction so I know how to change what or how I’m talking to speed things up. I need to see the blank face, or the hurry up, or whatever.

I think probably the biggest thing is to talk on the phone you need to have something to talk about that is so important you though it couldn’t wait till you saw that person in the flesh (there’s some obvious exceptions to this). I really don’t ever have something I think is that important. If I think of something and you’re not there I’ll go ahead and bank it till I see you again, I you are there, maybe I’ll say something, either way I usually don’t think you need to hear about it now.

So if you ever call me, know first of all that I’m happy you called. I may not sound like it but I am. The only thing I might be upset about is I probably just wish I could’ve seen you in person instead, and I blame the phone for not seeing you.